I got a funny little feeling..

ok so im in the middle of bumblejazz Ohio....and there it NOOOTHING to do here! and its been rainy and gross the past couple days so i feel low and not wanting to anything but sit and read and play with milton(my computer). I feel like a huge bummm...oh wow...yeah i do. I miss my family at LU...its hard to explain it...but i feel like they are my family...i love all of the people there so much! like my heart aches a little from being away from them. and i cant sufficiently tell them how much i care about them and love them without being super creepy or really annoying haha. so i guess il jsut write it down. I am here with about 30 other people learning about Studio Sound Engineering for 5 Weeks. :) im learing a lot already and its only the 4th day haha. Next week we start actually tracking and recording actual bands and im super psyched!! I cant wait to know all that im going to know when i leave and head back to good ol Lynchvegas! :)
but there is a part of me that just doenst want to be here. I miss my support system at Liberty, yes there are a few christians here and thats awesome cause i expected there not to be any...both my roomates are christians. I jsut dont feel like myself here, maybe its cause we are all still getting to know eachother but meeting new people is so awkward, i am so concious about myactions and what i wear and how my hair looks, like stupid things. I dont know if how i act will affect someone in someway that will cause them to not like me. ugg how exausting. I just need to STOP IT!. cause yanno what...WHY SHOULD WE CARE!! God made us who we are for a reason. if he made us the way we are...then why should we act liek anyone else? I mean i guess i should care that im following biblical views and guidlines but other than that...i should be able to be who i am without any restrictions, but for me...i dont feel that way. i feel distant form these people a little hazy even i guess. Yes a lot of them are not Christians living for Christ, but they are really interesting and nice people for the most part.
I mean i know the distance between us is that they dont ahve Christ is them as I do. I guess it is still strange to me to see how intensly affecting that is on relationships with people.
Maybe...hmm?...maybe God is trying to guard me from their evil ways, as to not get to close to them so they dont cause me to stumble or fall.
I mean there are some good looking guys here, but for real... i could care less...i have no interest in being pursued by any of these guys no matter how nice or attractive they are. They arnt living for Christ and that is what keeps us apart. I guess that is what i was trying to firgure out all along...blogging is so helpful..lol...
ok well i guess this is getting a bit long...i just needed to type out my thoughts to get them straight with myself.
Well i just want to let all my friends know that i miss them soo much...more than they will ever know
i miss the way i laugh, cry, think, perseive the world, persieve Christ, the way i act, the way i speak.
I think that there are definitly some people that just being around them brings out a good side of you that others cant. Well you guys are that for me. and thanks for always being there for me when i have questions or doubts or anything at all!
cant wait to be back at home! :)
Christ in me
Lulu