Home is Where the Heart Is.....Seriously!

Ok...so i got home for thanksgiving break yesterday night at around 6:15. It was a looooong drive but it snowed 30 mins after i got into pennsy!! it was amaaazing! i looove the snow..i dont even mind driving in it...haha im a tard...i know...but it snowed pretty much for like an hour and a half...and it was comin down pretty good!....it was the highlight of my drive...ohhh and the UNhighlight of my drive was..well i stopped at a gas station like and hour outside of Lynchburg cause i went to see my looooove J. Davis! and i didnt go back through Lynchburg to get gas...alrigh anyways...i digress sometimes...by b!.
ok so i stop at a shell..yay shell!...well i think it was a shell maybe not...but thats not the point...anyways..i pull in and the first two pumps are sold out of 87 so i pull around to face an suv thing with some guys in it...im not really paying much attention to them. So i put on my monkey slippers (yes that JUST happened) and i get out of the car to get some fuel, Alice was a lil parched. Soooo i pump pump it up!...and it was like 8.50 to fill from like a little more than a 1/4 of a tank...gas is cheeper in Va so i thought id fill er up while i was there...anywho...im still not paying any atention to the guys in the suv....i pay and get back in the car im putting my card away and i look up and the suv is leaving past my driverside window. i think nothing of it and look out my window just to be friendly and smile at the nice men....NOOOOOO big mistake...umm sooo these were creeeeepy hunter hick dudes...and they we ALLLL staring at me...no joke there were like 6 om them in there alll staring at me with their bright orange hats and camo jackets on...and i think one was missing some teeth...it was a little strange but i was liek alright i mean i guess im jsut not used to the hunter types...and then ANOTHER BAD IDEA!! i glance up...and there are 5....not kidding 5...dead deer on the roof...jsut strapped in...no tarp or anything over them...out and proud for the world to see.. and of course i have to look up and they are ALL STARING AT ME!!! (the deer i mean...well and the guys) but the dead deer all had their eyes open and their tongues stickin out...and i dunno if they were roadkill ones cause they were pretty bloody now that i think about it...oh wow! that was intense...dang ...i mean poor Alice has been scared enough by deer...poor thing has to stare right at them buggers. well thats my interesting story from my driv home! lol.
i was gunna write how happy i am to be home but this felt more exciting to write about at the moment...cause i jsut needed to share lol. But i LOVE my house and you never realize how grateful you are to come HOME till you have been far away ffrom home in an apartment containing the Civil War in the refirgerator. its jsut great...and i LVOE my friends i came home last night and they came to sleep over and i love them sooo much. we havnt seen eachother in MONTHS and it was jsut liek we never left eachother...oh man they make me so happy and they are amazing to talk to and they give amazing advice! uhhh i cant even love on them enough they are a blessing from God...no joke..i dont know what i would be if they hadnt been in my life...wow. anyways its getting late and this is getting supppper long! but HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!! :) Goble Gobble! <3

LuLu out

One is the lonliest number

ok so...these past few weeks have been kinda hard for me...There have been a lot of changes in my life and I feel a little lost. I feel like i have lost my best friend at school, not really lost as a friend but as a best friend. Its hard for me to lose that type of friendship so fast. i feel like everyone has someone to go to except for me. yes i have a good amount of friends, but not that one freind that you always call and can count on to be there to just sit on the couch with, or do nothing at all... jsut enjoying eachothers company. The one friend that you dont even have to think to hang out with them..it just happens. Its hard when your best friend is a million miles away. I feel really alone and i dont like it one little bit. I know that things change in life...but its really strange and unfamiliar to me.
Also, i have been missing my sister a lot the past couple weeks. Everytime i see a family or someone talks about their brother or sister i get really sad, kinda jealous actually, just thinking that my sister isnt here anymore. I think of growing older and her not being around. I always think about what my mom told us when we were younger and we would fight..."When you grow up, all you will have in the world is eachother, so make sure you stay close." Now i dont have a sister to stay close with. So now i will have no one. How depressing is that! It is really hard for me to see my future without her in it. I still think about being married and having kids and she is still in it and its really wierd. but i still cant let it go. I dont know why. Maybe its cause i never really got to say goodbye to her. Never got to tell her that i love her one last time. I try to be strong in fron of others but deep inside i am not strong at all.
I think its really ahrd for me to let God into my heart too because of this. There is a part of me that is all bottled up, guarded from everything else, so as to not show weakness to others, as well as God. I need to find a way to let that wall down, because i want to let God in, He is the only one who can heal me. He is the only one who can fill the hole that is left. But He cant do that unless i let Him.


p.s. its sooooo flippen hot in my apartment....my roomate has the heat on 80 degrees! seriously?! ugg